I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
