now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
