Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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