she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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