I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
People in love make me want to vomit
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
