I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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