I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
