so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My vagina is officially offended.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
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