Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
