Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
