That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
