Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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