You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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