now i know why i became what i already was.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
