I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
