Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
