lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
