I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
