And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The power of my boobs compel you
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
