everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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