she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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