there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
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