Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
