You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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