What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
wow bdsm is so cute
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