all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
