Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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