Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
