So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Those nachos came to me in a dream
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
