For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
