i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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