yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
