i jhust puked up my retainher.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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