I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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