Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
