Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
