so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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