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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  Shittttttt.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.

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• (315): View more from New York

  i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles

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• (714): View more from California

  And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it

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• (830): View more from Texas

  Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  It would be magical, all 2 min of it.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!

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