he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
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walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
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Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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