YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
