i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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