she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
