he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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