I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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