She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
