Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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