fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
