Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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