I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
