oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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