He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i think i just naturally attract stoners
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
