Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize