ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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