I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
