Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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