Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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