rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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