Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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