"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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