Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
