don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Randomize
