idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
