I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
