I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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